Rule of Dumbs
Written on Wednesday, May 07, 2008 by Unknown
Today i am going to unveil some very interesting facts and lessons which I have amassed in my 24 years of existence while dealing with.... ahem the fairer sex ( I might have lied about my age in the previous statement ). The girls/women/naari/stree (hereafter called they/them) have been incomprehensible to me and in general to the humanity. It has taken mankind a million years to know them as they are and it is going to take another million years to know them as they really are. But whatever iota of information you have about them, trust me it does help. Hence it is our duty to spread the information for larger benefit of human kind. So here goes my two cents.
Tun Tnnn Taaaaaaaaanaaa Tun Tnnn... Dhigdhig Dhigdhig .. Tanaaaaaaaaaaaaa Tun DHIG.
(That was 20th century fox opening music)
1. Aliens, Ghosts and intelligent girls are alike. Everyone has heard about them, nobody has ever seen them.
2. There are always two interpretations to what they say. None of them is what you understood.
3. The most dangerous question they could ever ask you is how do i look. Play safe. Do not go overboard with statements like "you look beautiful today" . You might be quizzed to death for "they not looking beautiful other days".
4. The 10 top most things you would find in their purse.
i) Comb - Because that one of the million strand of hair gets dislocated every minute
ii) Hair Clips - Because everybody else has it, silly
iii) Deo/Perfume - World would not be a livable place without them for us
iv) Innumerable ATM receipts - Because they have never heard about account statements
v) An I card with the most horrible photo of their life - Just in case
vi) You-know-what to keep them free - Because zamana badal gaya hai
viii) Ok i have run out of things before i could reach the magical figure of 10, but just imagine how would it look if I had written the top 7 or 8 things. These numbers just don't go with top.
5. All of them have two friends. The best friend and the boy friend. Both of them are invariably two different person. The best friend's sole purpose of existence is the transformation to the boy friend someday, probability of which taking place is equal to Ashish Nehra hitting a backfoot cover drive for four.
This list is not exhaustive and I plan to update it regularly, as and when the secluded insights dawn on me. Request you also to share your insights by way of comments/mails/chitthi/sandesh . Remember ( Next few words were written in high pitch. I simulated that effect by hitting my keyboards really really hard with both hands) Together we can and we have to crack the key to co-existence and if we fail to do so, the Charles Darwin evolution theory says we'll go extinct, only "them" will survive. Scary, isn't it !!!
Tun Tnnn Taaaaaaaaanaaa Tun Tnnn... Dhigdhig Dhigdhig .. Tanaaaaaaaaaaaaa Tun DHIG.
(That was 20th century fox opening music)
1. Aliens, Ghosts and intelligent girls are alike. Everyone has heard about them, nobody has ever seen them.
2. There are always two interpretations to what they say. None of them is what you understood.
3. The most dangerous question they could ever ask you is how do i look. Play safe. Do not go overboard with statements like "you look beautiful today" . You might be quizzed to death for "they not looking beautiful other days".
4. The 10 top most things you would find in their purse.
i) Comb - Because that one of the million strand of hair gets dislocated every minute
ii) Hair Clips - Because everybody else has it, silly
iii) Deo/Perfume - World would not be a livable place without them for us
iv) Innumerable ATM receipts - Because they have never heard about account statements
v) An I card with the most horrible photo of their life - Just in case
vi) You-know-what to keep them free - Because zamana badal gaya hai
viii) Ok i have run out of things before i could reach the magical figure of 10, but just imagine how would it look if I had written the top 7 or 8 things. These numbers just don't go with top.
5. All of them have two friends. The best friend and the boy friend. Both of them are invariably two different person. The best friend's sole purpose of existence is the transformation to the boy friend someday, probability of which taking place is equal to Ashish Nehra hitting a backfoot cover drive for four.
This list is not exhaustive and I plan to update it regularly, as and when the secluded insights dawn on me. Request you also to share your insights by way of comments/mails/chitthi/sandesh . Remember ( Next few words were written in high pitch. I simulated that effect by hitting my keyboards really really hard with both hands) Together we can and we have to crack the key to co-existence and if we fail to do so, the Charles Darwin evolution theory says we'll go extinct, only "them" will survive. Scary, isn't it !!!
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Hi Vishal,
Very well written and I agree with your observations! I think it will take the age of universe to de mystify them and unveil what they actually are!!
you could add some or the other form of make-up (lipsticks, eye liners et al) n money to tht...mayb
oye...why no new posts...lazyyy!!!its been over a month now...so post post post
@s.t. - Yeah i know its been long due.. I have one half written for quite a long time now.. would complete and post that very soon..
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@muzicdiva: Do not want to get personal here but would love to reply to your quotes and ofcourse also know ur identity... am taking ur comments off.. I can argue out "logically" each and every point mentioned in the post.. Drop me a mail..