One night in a train

Written on Wednesday, June 11, 2008 by Unknown

As usual i opened my laptop to catch up with those must watch but pending-since-long movies, on the train from Calcutta..... ok Kolkata to Darbhanga. Few minutes later, I was cursing Vijaya Mallaya for providing those cheap kingfisher headphones in their flight which would invariably fail when you would need them the most. I am sure there must be better ways to recoup your billions you so thoughtfully invested in your Test 20 (pardon the pun) team. Anyways, the movie by now, almost oblivious of me, was already into its 3rd minute as if to suggest it does not care about anything that happens outside the laptop.

I ruefully informed them (the movies) their time has not come yet and then moved on to look at my co passengers. By now every passenger in the train had settled down and knew where everyone else was going. This question aap-kahan- jaaoge (where are u going) could arguably be termed as the best ice breaker of the world, invented by some unknown Indian traveler in 18th century. If Indian railways carries 80 lakh passengers every day then this questions gets thrown in at least 50 lakh times a day. However, when somebody tosses up that question to you in a Mumbai bound flight you can’t help but just wonder how people have taken this idea a little too far. Though I did reply to him, “Mumbai, and You?” with the most inquisitive looks mixed with feelings of astonishment. He too replied, in fact very earnestly, “Mumbai”. I now thank Vijaya Mallaya for putting up those glasses in the windows of their aircraft or I would have jumped straight out of it in that moment of haplessness.

There were two more people and a family in my compartment. It was badly lit, thanks to the yellow light inside and dark clouds outside. There was this person lying on the seat right in front of me, completely bald, resting his head on a small black pouch. I wondered why he needed that when there were two pillows lying just next to him. After few moments, when he woke up and sat upright i noticed that small black pouch had risen up with him sticking to his head on the back. I concentrated a little hard to figure out how it happened and then cursing the bad light i realized it was actually not a pouch but a huge bushy bunch of hair covering the back of his head and spreading wide on both ends. So he was only half bald. If you were to look at his head from the top, it would look like some round spherical heavenly body which had a slippery shining northern hemisphere while southern hemisphere had dark dense tropical forests. He didn’t speak a single word in the entire journey and would soon go back to sleep along with his black pouch, still sticking to his head.

Then there was this interesting chap, who according to him had met almost every famous person in this world. He never named any, he just called them “bade-bade log”. He runs this huge chain of factories and keeps buying 3-4 of them every year. He even showed a few of them from the window of the moving train. :O . He also warned us not to mistake him by his clothes or his appearance because he believed in simple life and hated people who showed off. Understandably people had a hard time controlling their sheepish grins. This person indeed was a man of “Big talks” and he did carry them with élan. He recently met GM of RBI (whatever it is supposed to mean) who had actually come to meet him at his factory. RBI is the place where crores and crores of rupees and coins are minted, he added candidly for the ignorant souls. He described his conversation with the GM.
GM – You are one sample
The big talk guy – Yeah I am sample, just like you
I banged my head three times onto the walls of compartment, and then i realized he actually meant simple, and both of them coincidentally believed in simplicity-is-the-best-policy.

And finally there was this family, husband and wife and their poor little kid who had to perform all his school rhymes to the train audience which included the occasional passer bys and chai wallahs. The parents kept on proving to everybody that they had indeed produced a whizkid. Meanwhile the whizkid singed, danced, taught us alphabets and mathematics tables relentlessly, much to the pride of their beaming parents. By end of the journey I could remember kid’s resume by heart which included his name, class, school name, name of mam and age (no not of mam).

By now i had overcome the tragedy of conked out headphones. I was thinking how Indian railways could be the perfect epitome of colourful Indian diversity which we all fondly love to talk about. I got on my berth to catch up with some sleep; meanwhile nobody in the train seemed to get tired. The train kept on moving, the half baldy kept snoring, the big talks kept becoming bigger and the kid was already on his way to become a prodigy.

Rule of Dumbs

Written on Wednesday, May 07, 2008 by Unknown

Today i am going to unveil some very interesting facts and lessons which I have amassed in my 24 years of existence while dealing with.... ahem the fairer sex ( I might have lied about my age in the previous statement ). The girls/women/naari/stree (hereafter called they/them) have been incomprehensible to me and in general to the humanity. It has taken mankind a million years to know them as they are and it is going to take another million years to know them as they really are. But whatever iota of information you have about them, trust me it does help. Hence it is our duty to spread the information for larger benefit of human kind. So here goes my two cents.

Tun Tnnn Taaaaaaaaanaaa Tun Tnnn... Dhigdhig Dhigdhig .. Tanaaaaaaaaaaaaa Tun DHIG.
(That was 20th century fox opening music)


1. Aliens, Ghosts and intelligent girls are alike. Everyone has heard about them, nobody has ever seen them.

2. There are always two interpretations to what they say. None of them is what you understood.

3. The most dangerous question they could ever ask you is how do i look. Play safe. Do not go overboard with statements like "you look beautiful today" . You might be quizzed to death for "they not looking beautiful other days".

4. The 10 top most things you would find in their purse.
i) Comb - Because that one of the million strand of hair gets dislocated every minute
ii) Hair Clips - Because everybody else has it, silly
iii) Deo/Perfume - World would not be a livable place without them for us
iv) Innumerable ATM receipts - Because they have never heard about account statements
v) An I card with the most horrible photo of their life - Just in case
vi) You-know-what to keep them free - Because zamana badal gaya hai
viii) Ok i have run out of things before i could reach the magical figure of 10, but just imagine how would it look if I had written the top 7 or 8 things. These numbers just don't go with top.

5. All of them have two friends. The best friend and the boy friend. Both of them are invariably two different person. The best friend's sole purpose of existence is the transformation to the boy friend someday, probability of which taking place is equal to Ashish Nehra hitting a backfoot cover drive for four.

This list is not exhaustive and I plan to update it regularly, as and when the secluded insights dawn on me. Request you also to share your insights by way of comments/mails/chitthi/sandesh . Remember ( Next few words were written in high pitch. I simulated that effect by hitting my keyboards really really hard with both hands) Together we can and we have to crack the key to co-existence and if we fail to do so, the Charles Darwin evolution theory says we'll go extinct, only "them" will survive. Scary, isn't it !!!

Tashan and Tamasha

Written on Saturday, April 26, 2008 by Unknown

The Akshay Kumar”, casting of the movie reads so and they could not have got it righter. And they could not have got it wronger, by prefixing the "The" for rest of star cast as well. Nobody belongs there yet, except for Akshay. His charisma and stature has been burgeoning by day. Wherever he makes an appearance, he simply loots the show. Be it his little cameo in OSO, his brief performances in zee-sony-star (wonder if aastha is also there) award ceremonies, the latest thumps up ad, the daredevil stunt at IPL or the strings of hits he has been throwing .. one after another. Tashan is the latest one in his kitty (ok not a hit one) and how he delivers in otherwise a comparatively lack luster movie from the famed production house.
Tashan is all about Akshay and his tashan. The first half of the movie is a narration with Saif suddenly coming out of the frames and talking to the camera, an innovative (not so quite) story telling which does look stylish. The movie picks up pace on a red scooter with Akshay Kumar and his 10 heads zooming past you. Thereafter you just want to see more and more of him. Even if it is his counter-strike-got-real fights scene with hanuman chalisa like bachchan pandey mixed with rap howling in the background. Kareena thankfully is not just a gimcrack though the director has tried his level best to prove her one, when she is thrown in song and dance sequences thrown in at most unlikely places. The songs, (though some of them being good) serve as road breakers giving the already waffer thin script a run for the money (pun intended).

Anil Kapoor, the lesser said about him, the better it is. He is plain boorish and irritating to the hell. His incomprehensible hinglish is hilarious, but only to the writer, because only that can explain the logic of using the same situational jokes again and again to the point where they (the jokes) are beaten, squeezed, ambushed, bruised and flattened beyond and worth recognition.

The pace of the movie takes a beating with all those flashbacks (which are weird to say the least) but the “tashan” keeps coming back in tits and bits (though you can't help thinking that you have had enough of it). The movie ends at least thrice with whispers of not-yet-over oomph every time. (I do realize that i have started using lot of dashes which result in words-like-this).
Despite all this and other extremely bad word of mouth reviews it’s still worth a dekko simply because Akshay is just too good to give this a skip.

The Good:
- The Akshay Kumar
- The first half
- Background Track
- Kareena in you-know-what
- The visual eye candy cinematography

The bad:

- Anil Kapoor and his irritating perennial unfathomable English
- The never ending one-against-hundred fight scenes
- The pyar-kabhi-marta-nahi and main-inteqaam-lungi flashbacks

The verdict:

- Watch it for him, The Akshay Kumar

Unveiling the IRIS logo

Written on Wednesday, April 23, 2008 by Unknown

For the uninitiated, IRIS is the annual B-School Fest at IIM Indore. The theme this time around is "Break Free" ( The Krazzy 4 song came later). Break free signifies a lot of things and is open to interpretations (like all creative arts in the world :p). IRIS has been known for its innovative contests which (like all other good things) has been copied, tried, used and overused (by others, ofcourse) till the dust. IRIS 2008 promises to be different from all its previous editions. We have added new verticals (cultural and corporate) to add more fizz to it.
Now after the shameless promotion, here is a sneak preview (only to privileged few who read this blog) to the newly created IRIS logo.

You can see my other designs here (The shameless promotion continues)

Insanity 2.0

Written on Wednesday, April 16, 2008 by Unknown

No there is no Insanity 1.0 . Did you ever called KBC as "KBC 1" before the second version came out.

It's been Three hundred forty two days since i last posted something on this blog which actually seems like a life time. (I wrote it as Three hundred forty two and not 342 because the former looks some really large number and no, I didn't count it, it is just an approximation with the assumption that it bothers no body.) After getting into IIM, I never had any time to keep this blog updated (it is an exaggeration, which is ok) and now when I am doing my Summer Internship I have run out of excuses to not update it. If you have noticed (ofcourse you have noticed) that the look and feel of this website has also got a face lift keeping in line with the spirit of Insanity 2.0

Summary: Insanity personified is name of my blog. It has been dead for long and when I restarted it I chose to call it Insanity 2.0 because of no good reason (Brevity is a virtue which I fail to realize ... time and again)

I was thinking if I had kept this blog updated what stuffs would have gone here. Umm perhaps some of these ...... My first few days at IIM, victory at talent night and elections, some nonsense, Klueless and after, T20 victory, more nonsense, my new graphic designs and still more nonsense. However, I would try to catch up with some of those in next few days but it's a promise which i'll try not to break.

I just now realized that the first post to Insanity 2.0 is a pure crap but then I also realized someday I had to do it.